Let me begin by defining "nerd" so that we can have a concrete point of comparison. Wikipedia will tell you that a nerd is "a person who avidly pursues intellectual activities, technical or scientific endeavors, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests, rather than engaging in more social or conventional activities." In other words, someone who specializes in a field of knowledge to the extent that they know things that normal people don't need to know. Now let's review some types of people who are not this.
1. Science Topics Pseudonerd: This is the most basic of pseudonerds. They think that simply liking and talking about sciencey things is an all-expenses-paid VIP pass to the smart club. If you meet one, you might ask yourself "where do they learn all this stuff?" I'll tell where they're not learning it: their science classes. This impostor has no more formal training in science than you, as they are students of
literature and other non-science fields. But they still read their popular science magazines and talk about it as exclusively as someone who actually studies science. Oh, and XKCD. They read XKCD. For those of you who fit into this category (because I definitely know some of you, and I hope you are reading this), I've made a "scientific" chart (see Figure 1) to map out what constitutes "doing science".
Right about now, if you are a good citizen of this planet, you might ask "well shouldn't we all be interested in science, as it helps us understand the world around us?" You're absolutely right, but since you already have the complexities of life all fleshed out, you also know not to be a terrible party guest by trapping people in conversations about the implications of a water flea having more genes than any other animal. Right?
2. Ignorant Japanophile Pseudonerd: I'm going to start with the picture.
You've probably seen one of these, with or without the hat. If you've never been to an anime club or a Japanese language class, you're lucky enough to have only seen them in public, at their most uncomfortable and anti-social. Inside these special places, however—well, they're still uncomfortable and anti-social. But that's neither here, nor there.
What makes them so insufferable is their claim to love all things Japan, but when pressed, they can't speak a lick of Japanese. Let's do a role-playing scenario. Close your eyes. If you can't read like that, have a friend read to you. Then, return the favor. *Ahem*
You are a sixth grader again. You are flipping channels on a Saturday night, and you land on Cartoon Network. You are getting a little too old for cartoons, but who fucking cares? You're lonely as shit. What's this? There's a cool Asian-looking show on. Is this what Japan is like? That's awesome! In a moment of resolve, you shout "I LOVE JAPAN!"
Cut over to years later. You are still watching anime. You never learned Japanese, and everything you know about Japan came from basic cable. In high school, you took Spanish. Still, you romanticize Japan as the best country ever.
How could a person resolve from childhood to like something, let years pass, and still know nothing?
Pseudonerds, that's how.
3. Mantrapping Pseudonerd: This is the most dangerous of them all. The mantrap—characterized by low self-esteem and a hunger for power—will embody all of the nerd stereotypes she can think of to convince some poor socially inept boy to be her puppet. Her idea of a nerd is a smelly loser with underdeveloped social skills. Her negative perception of the target informs her that all she needs are boobs to be the queen of the nerds.
In exchange for loyal subjects groveling at her feet and the convenience of never having to shower or run a brush through her hair, she offers you her glorious presence. It's like her early retirement plan! But deep behind those fake thick-rimmed glasses lies a manipulative mastermind with a plan to ruin your life.
How to tell if you're really a nerd: It's easy! Follow this flow chart. I know how you nerds love flow charts. If you don't love flow charts, then you don't have to read this because you're obviously not a nerd. Enjoy!
As a final thought, I'd like to offer solace for those of you whose disagreements are situated in a burst bubble. "Nerd" is neither a good nor a bad title. If you are a nerd, you belong to an exclusive club of people who are passionate about learning, but you bear the social responsibility of not shoving your knowledge down the throats of others. If you aren't a nerd, congratulations! You get to avoid all the stigma that comes with being one.
What the fuck? This entire article angers me. It seems to stem from the hive-mind thought that hipsters are bad. This is awkward to put into a comment because the ideas are floating around and I can't be arsed into organizing them. First off, the stereotypical animu. HOW THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE NOT NERDS? They put a lot of time and effort into learning about anime. ANIME, my friend, is different than Japan. Since when has knowing Japanese been a prerequisite to knowing about anime? They fit the definition of nerd to the letter.
ReplyDeleteNext on our platter is the science enthusiasts. In the paragraph where you attack these people, you degrade nerds from being a group of people who abandon social interests to people who are just smart. You say that they feel pretentious for reading science magazines and xkcd (which actually does have some decent computer science jokes). Science magazines are good because they eliminate the need for hundreds of different specialized journals to fully understand a topic. You could ask a researcher about a topic and he might not have as good an answer as your "pseudo-nerd" because he would be a specialized force.
Whatever. I am done thinking about this and you because you come off as a douche to me. Trying to cleanse a social group (that you decide yourself to be part of) of people that you deem unworthy is pure elitism in a social group that should accept anyone.
Thank you, Blegh! I was trying to stir up some anger, and you are the only visible sign of it. You keep doing that thing you do :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, "blegh"? Are you a Homestuck fan?
Geek and nerd have become interchangeable, that's the problem. You can be an anime, video game, or science geek (science is kewl, fun!) but unless you're deciding between MIT or Harvard post high school, you probably aren't a nerd.
ReplyDeleteRegarding XKCD readers or psudeoscience nerds, anything that gets people interested in science (even diet science) should be seen as a positive thing for society.
I think your problem with these people boils down to this: if you have to scream you're something, chances are you aren't.