Relative Deliciousness

Relative deliciousness of animals: A pragmatic model

Jesse Singleton, Zach Willard

Abstract

Aren't you tired of nerdy webcomic graphs with only two axes?  Why understand a phenomenon in two dimensions when you can understand it in three?  Plus, the zed axis is by far the coolest of the axes!  This study aims to map out the deliciousness of animals in relation to one another based on three characteristics: cuteness, intelligence, and ferocity.

The Model

Results

Discussion

The findings suggest that we are limiting our diets to mediocre meats, seriously inhibiting our ability to reach new levels of self-actualization.
 
Future studies might focus on how the deliciousness of animals eaten relates to happiness indices across cultural contexts or on how the social stigmas associated with eating Rhinoceri and Poison Dart Frogs influence the formation of the self.

Try one! I guarantee you'll never taste a better animal as long as you live.